Todd's Random Thoughts From The Gym

- Exercise isn't fun...I know it's easy to get pumped up while watching The Biggest Loser, but reality isn't nearly as exciting as reality television.

- I never thought someone would want to be called "The Biggest Loser".

- It's always nice when you aren't the biggest person in the gym...It's even better when there are numerous people in the gym who are bigger than you are. In this case, you actually begin to feel a little sexy.

- If you ARE the biggest person in the gym, go home and come back later....The skinny people will not serve as motivation. Seeing them run on the treadmill will only make you feel slow.

- Fight the urge to knock the skinny people off their treadmill....The gym probably has video surveillance.

- Don't stop for a burger on the way home.

- I wish I was "The Biggest Loser".

- Speaking of treadmills, I'd like to find the person who decided to add on the little tv...I would kiss their feet...repeatedly.

- If you happen to have the gym to yourself, don't get carried away and attempt to run 10 mph on the treadmill...Once again, they probably have video surveillance...You don't want to end up on the highlights reel at the staff Christmas party.

- I can't believe Everyone hasn't figured this out, but let me make it clear...A CRUNCH IS NOTHING MORE THAN A FAILED ATTEMPT AT A SIT UP! Nowadays, they say a crunch is the best way to flatten your belly...Well, I'm fairly certain I invented the crunch back in the 7th grade, but the gym teacher called me fat and said I wasn't leaving until I did a sit up...I guess I was ahead of my time.

- Crunches are easy to do, but they sure can hurt after a while...Not to mention the fact that I feel ashamed for getting away with a failed sit up...But hey, you can't argue with the experts.

- Exercise is not fun.

- I really hate it when someone smaller than me walks up and takes it upon themselves to give me training tips...They are just trying to compensate for their own insecurities.

- If you are feeling down, maybe a little insecure, try finding someone bigger than yourself and offering them a few helpful workout tips...You'll feel a lot better and you'll be helping out a fellow gymmate!

- Once you are finished with a weight machine, adjust it to the maximum weight before you leave...That way, the next person will think you are much stronger than you actually are.

- I've discovered that you shouldn't get on a treadmill beside someone who looks like they could walk all night...The fact is, they may indeed walk all night...and you will feel like a loser when you stop and they are still going just as strong as they were when you started.

- Don't stare too hard at the really big people....They may get offended.

- Don't stare too hard at the really good looking people...They may get offended.

- and remember...exercise is not fun.